Early in my career, I never worked at a place for more than two years. I usually quit my job because of the ‘bullshit’ at work. You know, the office politics, the poor management, the idiotic people, the lame office culture etc. I would be relieved to find a new job. After a few months, I’d get pissed off with the same bullshit, then I’d find another job. After a few jobs I noticed a trend – same bullshit at different workplace. Who knew? It doesn’t matter if it is for profit, non-profit, small or big organizations, as long as there are two people working there, bullshit will surface.
In recognizing and accepting this sad, but honest truth, I was able to develop great management/coping skills. Now I quit my jobs for the right reasons – to move into better opportunities; rather than, running away from a ‘presumably’ bad situation. And by better opportunities, I mean ones that move me closer to my family’s Vision.
Here is my workplace bullshit survival guide. The goal is to help with minimizing stress so you can have a better work life balance, or should I say work life separation. There will always be a bit of stress from work, but if you are taking it home with you and losing sleep over it or letting it affect other parts of your life, then that is not in my opinion, healthy.
1. Keep work in perspective. Our culture defines us by what we do and as a result, determines our worth. When we meet new people for the first time, one of the first questions will be “what do you do for a living?” Our identity has become attached to what we do. This is probably one of the reasons why people are constantly working. Here’s the truth. Your job is what you do and NOT who you are. Like most people, work is one part of one’s life. Even if it is a big part, it is nevertheless, ONE part. When you clock out at quitting time, you’ve got other things to do.
2. Balance the bad with the good. When we dislike a job, we constantly think of the bad and how it affects us. This is what eats us up inside and takes over our thoughts. Seldom do we think of the good. It is important to take stock of the good. If you were to put the good and the bad on a scale, how balanced is it? How important are the good things to you? The bad? Are the bad things bad enough for you to quit your job? And will you get what you want in a new employer? Keep in mind the grass is not always greener on the other side.
3. Don’t feed the bullshit and give it life. There are people at work who are consumed by negativity and constantly want to talk/vent about problems at work. Don’t engage! The more you talk about it or hear about it, the more life you give it and the more it will bother you.
4. Keep good company and stay away from the drama queens/kings. There are people at work who make mountains out of everything. What’s worst, they feel obligated to share their thoughts with everyone. Keep these people away. They are life suckers. If these drama queens/kings happen to be a work friend, just let them know you’d rather not talk about work BS and change the subject. If they are friends, they should understand. Talk to people who are light and have shared interests.
5. Stay low key and off the radar. In the case of your boss, it is irrelevant whether you like/dislike or get along with him or her. The important thing to remember is that he/she is your BOSS. It is always to your advantage to stay on this person’s good side. Remember this person has the power to fire your ass. Being on the good side doesn’t mean you have to suck up. You just have to not do the things that will piss him/her off; like: complaining all the time, asking for a million and one things that make you more ‘comfortable’ at work, being a loud mouth, and not doing your job. If you do your job, keep to yourself, offer solutions from time to time, don’t ask for too much and be friendly, you will be on the good side. In the case of your colleagues, don’t share too much personal information, be friendly, and don’t draw attention to yourself (like getting drunk and dancing like a stripper at a work function). This way you won’t give them anything to talk about; other than, that guy is quiet.
6. Maintain healthy boundaries. The workplace is definitely a place where you develop relationships with people. I think it’s awesome to make friends and have a social circle. The key thing is to maintain healthy boundaries. Once you cross over to the ‘friendship’ side, then things can get awkward. Make sure you establish clear boundaries with your workplace friends. This means keeping social time social and work time work-related.
7. Have a sense of humour. This is the key to surviving workplace bullshit. I am a bit of a smartass so it’s easy for me to make light of a situation. Some folks are serious. Here’s a suggestion for the serious folks. Read Dilbert comics and make people at work one of the characters, then view all your work situations as though you are in the comic. I’ve checked out on many boring (useless) meetings by doing this. My only caution is to make sure you stop yourself from laughing out too loud in a meeting.
work bullshit · work survival guide
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Guest · May 11, 2010 at 1:27 am
Makes sense but to me it takes practice. It’s ulmost like making yourself numb, having no feelings, bullshitting. You are absolutely right though – wherever you go there will always be bullshit – it’s a fake world we live in and jobs are just a part of this fucked up system. We’re not making a difference we’re just peons in a screwed up world. For me it’s hard to deal with. I mean it sucks that some place you spend 90% of your time is – is a bunch of crock. I just wish the world was different and all that stuff but it’s not. For some reason though I haven’t been tamed like you have – I keep wanting something meaningful – I keep wanting to make a difference at work and in turn in the world type of thing. But it’s in vain so I should just turn numb like you and concentrate on what I can control and that is my family, friends, love ext….reaching that ultimate goal of not depending on a job to survive ect…
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Mark Reply:
May 11th, 2010 at 8:34 am
I wouldn’t say ‘numb’. It’s about giving it the perspective and time it deserves. It’s about taking control as opposed to having it control you. The shit is gonna be there, mind as well make sure the fan isn’t blowing your way.
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Optimism · July 31, 2010 at 8:45 pm
thank you for the perspective.
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Guest2 · August 2, 2010 at 4:54 am
I think that Guest’s comments are right on regarding the ‘numb’ zombies that inhabit most modern workplaces. A few years ago, PBS had a reality series called “Frontier House” where several families were required to live like the Homesteaders in the mid-nineteenth century. One of the families was very wealthy. After the series, PBS did a follow-up to see how the families were doing after living for several weeks in situation where they had to chop wood, grow and kill food, build cabins, and occasionally do business with other folks sometimes by bartering. The three kids in this wealthy family were sitting around their enormous swimming pool talking about how bored and depressed they were, and how they wished they were back at the frontier house. I do appreciate the innovations and advances in knowledge that modern science and technology have provided since massive industrialization, but I wonder whether something is missing; something that is not being satisfied that is causing us to “die” a bit inside. It seems as though we are glorified peasants tied to organizations for “protection” (health benefits, retirement, income) much those serfs who were tied to landlords in the dark and middle ages. Sometimes it seems better to deal with the insecurity of occasional droughts, bears and attacks by natives.
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Alex · September 1, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Well… amazing how we let work get to us. Thank you for your perspective. I’ll keep practicing staying focus and most of all positive despite all this bullshit.
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Laura · March 15, 2011 at 6:24 pm
I think it has been a little while since this was published, but I think your tips are spot on. I want to really try to do everything that you have listed, and I have had some of the ideas myself. I want to put my all into what I do and feel trampled on when everyone wants to do the mediocre.
Any tips on how you remind yourself to do the average of what is expected of you to keep the boss happy instead of trying to surpass would be great! Need to stop this job ruling my life. Thanks
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Mark Reply:
March 15th, 2011 at 7:46 pm
I’d love to hear your ideas. On doing the average, I used to have high expectations of myself (and rightly so) and really stress over doing a kickass job. Then at a performance review one time, my boss told me my expectations are too high. I got a real kick of that. Who wouldn’t want an employee who strives high. What I realized was that my ‘bar’ was two feet above my boss’. So, I adjusted. Why would I kill myself and do 120% when 80% is good enough … and truth be told, probably better than good enough. My tip would be for you to determine what your boss’ bar is, then just do what is required. Make sure the info is specific. For example, if the boss says I want my staff to have good attendance, find out what that number is. If you do one day better, then you are golden.
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Mike · May 11, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Very well put, fantastic article. I would ass “cover your ass”, “know who is real and who is fake”, and “watch out for people who won’t put stuff in writing”. Be especially cautious around the fakers; the ones who have no knowledge or skills for their jobs. They survive off of creating BS to make themselves look important and busy. When they can’t do that they survive by passing the buck and/or going to great lengths to make it look like their incompetence is someone else’s fault. These are also generally the same people who will respond to your email with a phone call so none of their BS is on record and they can’t be held accountable for anything they tell you.
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anonymous · June 15, 2011 at 9:46 am
I know what you mean. But, unfortunately, the people that you you are describing are practically every human being I’ve ever encountered in the workplace. Especially in Texas. And, especially in engineering.
By the way, you should also beware of the asshole who asks to have it put into writing. They, invariably, stall like an MF. Nobody is really “real.” And, covering ass, results in absolutely nothing getting done because everyone is too busy covering their ass. While the guy actually trying to get things done faces the liability of all of the blame if anything goes wrong.
Now that I think about it, nobody really wins no matter how hard you try…this article sucks.
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Heba · June 23, 2011 at 6:00 am
First of all, this article is bullshit. Giving us ideas on how to cope with bullshit is basically telling us to accept it! Instead of telling people to find a more meaningful job, or to do something they care about, you are telling those people to tolerate the bullshit because it is a fact of life! Well I refuse to accept this at all! I work in such an environment where I am surrounded by bloodsuckers and ass kissers, and yes, my boss wants me to put EVERYTHING in writing and guess what: NOTHING gets done. Right now I am looking for a new job, and as soon as I find one, I’m outta here! Why should I spend half my day putting up with bullshit? Is this really what life is about? Tolerating bullshit? Why? For what purpose? Many people have found their passions in life and are pursuing them–so can everyone reading this bloody post! I would rather die hungry, lonely, and crippled before working in a bullshit corporate environment ever again. The reason I am still here is because first, I’m saving up enough money to stay self-sufficient for a while and second, until I find something better to move on to. Never accept being miserable and never live your life “tolerating” bullshit because that’s no life; that’s hell!
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Mark Reply:
June 23rd, 2011 at 8:43 am
Please share when you find that work Nirvana. Good Luck.
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Robing Hood · August 6, 2011 at 2:56 am
As human creatures we have 2 main duties: 1-Survival of self & immediate family and 2-Taking care of community / society/ country / tribe /clan. Mark only addressed #1 just as being currently emphasized by our more encompassing corporate culture. Big efforts like propaganda, spin and disinformation are being spent making sure everyone just saves his own ass. In the workplace these are selfish, workaholic and overcompetitive creatures perfectly numb to society’s ills. When I look at an outstanding CV, I see a guy/gal who never grabs a book, who never understands the news, who barely has an idea of being team player. In fact, ‘team player’ these days means ‘going with the flow’. These are the kind of people who would kill each other just to have the chance to put another brick in Egypts pyramids or appear as ‘employee of the month’. These are our modern day slaves, ready to work themselves to death in exchange of some abstract token and a handful of dollars.
I liked comments by Gest1/2 and Heba’s.
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Mark Reply:
August 6th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Robing Hood, Guest 1/2 and Heba appeared to focus solely on just the work aspect. My point is about putting one’s work life in check. Work is only one part of our TOTAL life or at least it should be. I think if you read closer, the article is more than about strictly survival or covering one’s ass. It is about not letting the shitty work life roll over into the other parts of your life. We’ve all been there … have a bad day at work, you are ‘short’ with your family. So, by keeping your work crap in check, you are, as Robing suggests, taking care of your ‘clan’ (thus serving our other duty). If you don’t take care of yourself, you can not take care of others! Don’t mistake surviving as submitting to corporate culture. It’s about not putting to much emphasis on a negative situation and redirecting positive energy to other things in your life that you value.
As I mentioned in the article … ” The goal is to help with minimizing stress so you can have a better work life balance, or should I say work life separation. There will always be a bit of stress from work, but if you are taking it home with you and losing sleep over it or letting it affect other parts of your life, then that is not in my opinion, healthy.”
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Cody · August 28, 2011 at 11:34 pm
I have to agree that the shelf life of any job is about 2 years before you feel the need to move on to less bullshit. One trend I have noticed is the larger the company, the more bullshit you endure. I’ve been at my current company nearly 5 years mainly because I was tired of constantly interviewing every couple years. I have to admit – I think this company has more bullshit than my last 3 companies combined. This week I have a 3 hour meeting with management to discuss with a group the results of the company culture survey. I had to do a double take when I saw it pop up on my calendar – 3 hrs – seriously? I think I’ll be looking for that next bullshit job soon.
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Guest · October 1, 2011 at 6:38 am
The thing about bullshit is it sinks to the bottom but it can also take you down with it. Leaving is always a good solution. Nothing beats leaving bullshit before it gets attached. A group of bullshit stuck together will sink any ship given enough time. Why be stuck on a sinking ship. The alternative solution is to pinch the nose like the author while ignoring the bullshit and trying not to get a piece attached. But what if a piece of bullshit is attached, what do you do? Common sense tells you if you got a piece of shit stuck to you, better fling it off and wash yourself off quickly. Don’t want to be smelling like a piece of shit all day. If that shit is firmly attached, well get used to that smell for awhile until you find a stick to pry it off. Using your hands right now to remove it will get shit everywhere. Better a clean break than getting shit everywhere. In the meantime, you’ll have to carry double the weight to prevent yourself from going down with the bullshit.
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Joe · October 5, 2011 at 10:41 am
First, I have to laugh because I found my way to this thread by Googling “right to work is bull….”.
That being explained first, I did read the Original Thread and responses all the way through and both the OP and the responses all have a major thread of truth in them. In defense of the OP, YES, you do have to leave the BS behind when you come home at night, and NO, our jobs DO NOT define us. And, yes, I can see why you (the figurative…) only get about two year’s mileage out of any particular job these days because of the nonsense (politics, idiots, management, lameness, etc.). For me, that length of time-in-job is about 4-6 months…
As for finding some simple guide or pathway through the job BS that will allow a well-intentioned seasoned worker to survive in this world of nonsense-slinging idiots that permeate the typical (US) workplace in this 21st century, I don’t hold out much hope. You (the figurative again…) can hit on a few of the points and give a few good ideas, but you cannot stop the machine that gives rise & rights to idiots that refuse to do their jobs. It seems like this has now become the GLUE that binds us. Call it racism, sexism, PC, or whatever, but this gel that is stuck in the workplace is gonna ruin this country for sure.
I just suffered through 6 months working for the Physical Plant Division in the largest university in Tampa and can’t believe how things turned out. Granted, I ran my own business for 20 years, so my perspective is probably very skewed, but these (supervisory-type) people spent all of their time trying to figure out how NOT to support the hard working individuals they had in their crews, instead catering to the moronic bums that managed to make it through the interview & background-check process. In my case, the hiring manager (head of maintenance) managed to hire 2 of eight people that were qualified for the position, and 6 people that should have stayed as greeters at Wal-Mart where they would not have been challenged quite so much by the job. My legitimate complaints that were made about the wise-ass antics of the 6 fell upon deaf ears, even though everyone KNEW what they WEREN’T doing (their jobs) and everyone KNEW what they WERE DOING (kissing ass & f’ing off). It’s no wonder we, as a people, are finding ourselves stuck in pool of mediocrity, ever spiraling downward, with no end in sight except turning over our past greatness to others on the planet that have been subjugated for years and are finally finding their new freedoms (China). We’ve lost the edge in the United States of America. We hire (& retain) our workers based on race, gender, cronyism and politically correct BS, as opposed to finding people that can get the job done right the first time. We toss money at past problems by endorsing this type of system, and we’re completely unable to reverse the process.
So, back to my original Google search: “right to work”. What does that mean anymore? I have a right to work, too, but not if I can’t fit into that mold of idiocy that is the fabric of our current worker’s society; not if I won’t eat poo and kiss ass, ignoring those that laugh and do nothing. One of the kings of those new hires told me right off “I know how to work the system”, and so he did. He quickly assembled his own new group of idiots out of the other 5, and, well, you know where that went… While I and the other great hire were busy working, the group of chimps played with their clubs and drove around in the golf carts with the blessings of management. I didn’t understand his original idiotic statement then, but I do now.
We’re in trouble America. Face it. This isn’t turning around anytime soon, and your kids and mine are gonna inherit this cesspool of mediocrity. It’s so sad.
Sorry son…
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Joe · October 5, 2011 at 2:54 pm
BTW, I should have mentioned that I met many great people (& especially vendors) while working at the university, too. To them I hope for the best. They have learned how to navigate their way through muddy & mucky waters, in a way I probably never will.
So, to all of those guys that might happen across this little expose in coming years, and you know who you are, you have my undying admiration for tolerating an environment so full of waste, political bullshit and abuse.
For the rest of you… …well you know where you can stick it.
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Matt · November 6, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Screw the American workplace. Full of misery, lies, long hours, kiss asses, do gooders, back stabbers, slackers, and jerks. And that’s just management I’m referring to.
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Vishal · January 12, 2012 at 4:48 am
A BOSS should also realise that you’re an EMPLOYEE and a valuable part of the organisation. It’s a two-way street and there’s no excuse for treating a ‘worker’ like crap.
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Howie · January 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Love it!
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